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The Dalai Lama said, “The point of life is happiness.”

Please, just stop and re-read that statement.

Everything you want, it is all about what makes you happy.

Your happiness is a barometer for your life.

My happiness may look like security. Yours may look like love. Hers may look like beauty. His may look like belonging. But these are all various shades of happiness. And we are all trying to get that tank to full – Full of happiness.

But how do you know how to fill it up if you do not know what makes you happy?

I see this in my coaching practice all day long. Folks get stuck on what they “should” be doing versus what actually “makes” them happy.

We all spend so much of our energy putting out fires and resolving day to day issues instead of moving towards that which embodies happiness for us. We often invest more in avoiding pain instead of moving towards pleasure. We react to what is going on all around us instead of choosing to respond in the way that we want to respond to people and circumstances around us. There is a big difference.

If you continue to react to circumstances and pain, you will get stuck. You will be unable to move forward.

Of course, life is coming to us at 100 mph all day long and there will be some reactivity on our parts.

However, set time aside as often as you can to revel in what it is that you desire.



Listen with your ears.

Listen to the pop-ups in your head.

Listen to that feeling in your gut.

Listen to that airiness around your heart.

Listen to those words burning to be released from your throat.

Beloved, what do you truly desire?

Name it.

Gosh, you are so worth it. You deserve the very thing(s) that you desire. Yes, you can have more than one. You are allowed. Go on. Give yourself permission to announce your desires.

We often think of the word desire when it comes to sex. And yes, it does have that primal energetic pull to it. Your desire is not a hope and a prayer. It is not a wish. It is not just a want. It is a primal urge that undergirds your very existence. There is an energy that surrounds it that is a moving forward and embracing versus a shrinking and retreating.

Please discard any negative thought you have about the word “desire.” Often, we think it is wrong, selfish or immoral to want. Desire speaks to “eros” as there is a sheer physical enjoyment and delight about it. It is exciting and thrilling. Too often, we have been told to “mute” our desires because of the fake morality associated with eros. Eros, beloved, is actually about aliveness more than anything else.

Celebrate your desires and move away from barely existing and trying to avoid disaster. That is called “pain-avoiding.”

You enter into pain avoiding when your focus, your gravitational pull, is all about:

  • What can other people give me?
  • What will other people think of me?
  • What do other people want from me?
  • Am I good enough to give them what they want?
  • How can I please another so I can get?

To embrace pleasure, your gravitational pull, driven by your quest for your unique desires, is all about:

  • Does this allow me to be more of me?
  • Can I live with myself in peace as a result of this decision?
  • Is this creating progress, forward movement in my life?
  • Does this eliminate mental, physical or emotional clutter?
  • Would I, and the person I respect the most on the planet be proud of me?

Beloved, what supports your evolution?

Sister coach, Danielle Laporte says, “When you cease to desire, you cease to evolve.”

As long as you breathe life, it is your job, your responsibility, your desire, to evolve. Evolution is thriving. Evolution is positive. Forward momentum. Onwards.

Connecting with your desire creates “inner attunement” which society has trained us to value much less than “outer attainment.”

If you can just tune in, dial that knob, into your inner attunement, all day long, you will move towards the positive aspect of #PositivePowerfulPossibilities with ease and grace.

Let me free you today and ask you to embrace desire itself.

The origin and etymology of the word “desire” is from the Latin desiderare fre de- + sider – sidus which means “heavenly body.” Basically, the word stems from the concept that the stars, or a constellation will bring aliveness (eros) to what you want.

Beloved, there is a mysterious spirituality to your desires.

Embrace them. They sure are heavenly!

Now, see how my desire showed up as compliments, people, a necklace, and flowers? Make sure that when your desire shows up, you do not overlook it. Celebrate it.

Here is the thing: How can you be a leader without knowing what the motivation for your leadership is? Your desire is at the core of your leadership, precious one.

Ready to connect?

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I am committed to the success of all peoples. I actively work towards the equitable thriving of all human beings regardless of race, ethnicity, physical ability, sex, gender or national status. I offer a sliding scale for single parents, active-duty military, veterans, military spouses, the long-term unemployed, refugees and the formerly incarcerated.

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