I recently had an unfortunate encounter with an online bully. I did not know what to do. The person is part of my community. Do I engage?. Do I unfriend? What is this bully here to teach me? Of course, my ego wanted to defend myself and argue. (I do that very well.) But I had a lot on my plate. I also got that somehow I had invited this experience into my orbit. I wanted to doubt myself and ask what did I do wrong but I know that is so unproductive. So, I remembered, “When they go low, we go high!”
I realized that there is bullying on different levels right now – the 12 emails from the same organization in two days to buy a product, national politics, and now this? No. Time to make peace with it. It is not what I want for my life. Time to turn it around. Time to bless it and find the gift in it. See, the very presence of a bully reminds us that we have chosen to be in the arena. How awesome is that? So here is what I did: I wrote a poem. (No judgment here. I do not normally write poetry. But what the heck!)
Lord, bless the bullies today,
Those that annihilate the freedom of choice of others,
Those that claim to speak truth but season it with hurt and anger,
Those that dehumanize humanity,
Those that fracture community,
and Those that do not understand that effective, healthy change cannot happen without compassion.
May compassion take root and grow in them.
May they crave the equanimity of healthy community.
May they embrace the fullness of their humanity.
May their words entangle truth with love.
May they enjoy the choice to be free and let others be free.
May they be blessed in their ability to form unity.
Let grace abound within each of us.
Let freedom ring for all of us.
Let love flow among us.
Let all humans be fully human.
Let community heal us.
Let compassion be our way, today and always.
Thank you for reminding us to be compassionate to ourselves first.
Thank you for reflecting our own scatteredness.
Thank you for reminding us that we have a choice in who we engage with.
Thank you for reminding us to be gentle with our humanity, the fragile parts and the strong parts.
Thank you for reminding us what true supportive and loving community looks and feels like.
Thank you for reaffirming that we can choose to be wounded healers.
Thank you dear bully. Your life has value as well.
And keep it moving! Next!
How do you deal with bullying? Is it worthwhile to find the gift in it? What happens if you cannot just turn it off?